Too much of a good thing?

It’s been over 2 years since I wrote a new blog post (now I’ll have a total of 3, woo, look at me go!)

Side note: We’re so used to seeing people say that about their work or service aren’t we? “It’s been a while since I’ve last posted” or “I’ve been quiet on here lately”

Why do we have to justify these breaks? Like just living life and humaning every day is somehow not enough. Well I think it is, and sometimes I have the energy to write and sometimes it takes 2 years.  

It feels good to be ok with that.
Anyway, let’s get back on topic...

I’ve been asking myself this question lately:
“Is it possible to have too much of a good thing?”

Now let me say this first, I realise the absolute privilege I, and many of us have to even ask that question, living in the first world experience we do. However, as long as we don’t take this for granted, I believe these are exactly the kinds of questions we should be asking ourselves. Finding more depth and meaning in our lives, especially during these unsettled times is how we become more self-aware, well-rounded individuals and members of the community.

Some of you reading this may know my partner and I have been moving around the world for the last 11 months. We’ve spent 6 months in Mexico and almost 5 in Europe. I cannot begin to describe the beauty and full life we’ve lived during this time.

Can you feel a but coming on?
Well, there is no ‘but’, because the above paragraph is a complete story. However, it’s not the only story we’ve made through our travels and experiences.

I’ve come to realise two very important things during our adventures…

1. Our capacity to continuously see and feel beauty and goodness requires practice (lots of practice)

If we want to improve our lives and have better experiences, we need to be able to expand and hold space for them. Yes, there is a difference between wanting to travel for 12 months and actually being able to enjoy travelling for 12 months.
I know most will say they could fully embrace and enjoy it – I thought that too, yet it’s harder than it seems.

You see, holidays are fantastic because they only come around once or twice a year. We crave them because for most of us, they take us out of the mundane and routine in our lives. But what if that holiday became your norm? Do you think by the time you’ve visited your 52^nd location on day 185 you’ll appreciate the beauty and culture of that place the same way you would if it was the first location you landed?

From experience, these two situations do not feel the same. And as wonderful and grateful as I am for all the memories we’ve created, it does not change the fact that after 6 months, I was unable to feel the same awe and excitement about travel as I did when I only holidayed for a month at a time.

My capacity for beauty and excitement was full. I had hit my threshold.

Thankfully, this is something I became very aware of and rather than taking each new place for granted because that was my norm – I began consciously finding ways to be super present with each move.

I made sure to stop and find the beauty of wherever I went.
How was it different to the last location? What’s unique about it? How does it feel? What do I love about it?

Threshold expanded.

I had developed a little more room to appreciate the beauty and wonder. And the more I practiced this, the bigger my capacity for goodness grew.

This kind of approach can be applied to anything. If you want more peace in your life, expand your threshold for it. Notice the pattern where after 2 weeks of love and connection with your partner or parents, you find a reason to argue. Do you have a 2 week threshold on peace? 2 day threshold? 2 hours?

If you want more joy in your life – notice where you cut yourself off from it because you’ve felt joyful for far too long and society says that too much joy is selfish. Do you really believe that? Or have you lowered your threshold for joy to fit in with that silly idea?

You can expand your threshold for good things. You just need to notice where you’re sabotaging yourself from experiencing more of that thing you desire and consciously work on expanding and holding space for it in your life. You may just notice 4 weeks of peace instead of 2, and longer periods of sustained joy.

2. Most humans need balance, routine and a variety of seasons

Not proud to admit this, but I think I have drunk more alcohol in the last 11 months than I have over the last few years combined.  We would celebrate if we went more than 2 nights straight without drinking… Eek.

Why?

Always in “holiday” mode and chasing the warm weather, it becomes EXTREMELY difficult to say no to a chilled wine or 4 on a balmy evening with ocean views. Look at the photo – can you blame us? Plus we ate out allllll the time.

But, I started to feel like shit.
Is this the kind of life I wanted to live? Is this how I wanted to treat my body and mind?

Moving around with big suitcases, not exercising, sleeping in different beds, constant hot weather, constant stimulation, 0 routine – this kind of lifestyle is one only a few people can sustain, yet alone enjoy. In short bursts, it’s friggin awesome. But long term? That’s a different story.

I know many people would look in on our lives and think “I want that” and maybe for a few of you this kind of life would truly feel awesome.

But for most of us, there is not enough balance, routine and grounding in the forever travelling life. I found myself craving the cold so I could spend more time inside doing nothing. We both became irritable because of the lack of routine.

Right now, after settling in the one place for a few weeks, we are LOVING working, going to the gym, and cooking at home (and drinking MUCH less). The stuff I used to want to get away from.  

Because as amazing as the summer travel vibes were… I needed routine and grounding to balance it all out.

Without balance in my life, I became an unbalanced person.

There are 4 seasons every year and just like in nature, humans need to have periods of growth and fun and movement and adventure…but we also need rest, recovery and time to reflect. Each season is unique and special and needed for different reasons.
As good as an eternal summer sounds, I truly believe most of us would miss the winter after a short while and crave the cold, the comfort foods, the extra rest.

We work best in cycles and ups and downs – not a straight line with only ups. As much as the winters can suck and the downs are challenging, without them, we’re not quite complete.

So, does that mean I need to run away from good things for a while?
No. Definitely not.

I’ve been able to expand my threshold for beauty, peace and joy which will no doubt be something that benefits me for the rest of my life and it will be something I continue to practice.

Also and most importantly, my definition of a good thing has been completely overhauled.

Where once good = summer, eating out at great restaurants, always travelling and moving… I now realise that I also need the other kind of good = routine, home, grounding, cooler weather and rest.

These are all good things and a balance of both sides means a happy, balanced, productive human.

Love to all,
Meli